I'm passing your future prison.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
splinters make it hard to masturbate
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
