We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
