My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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