i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
