out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
