Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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