I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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