I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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