i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
