he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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