now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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