I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I currently don't understand fingers.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
