weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
