I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
