So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She bit a glass in half.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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