i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
