capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
