i just had sex bonerless
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
