i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
