Buhtt sex?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
