a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
and you said cock pushups were impossible
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it š
He was all āplease donāt bail because Iām missing work for thisā last night
Honey no, I need dick. Iām not going to bail
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