OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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