You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
