where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
