...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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