Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
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