new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
