I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
