bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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