no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
im six kinds of drunk right now
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
