Your dad touched me again.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
