I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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