I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I need water and some morals
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
