You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
How external is "for external use only"?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
