I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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