whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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