Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Girls should come with a carfax report
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
