Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
i out mim tonsoeep
Two words: nipple clamps
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