I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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