i don't plan on having that self control this summer
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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