I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
