what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
