I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I want to be your penis for a week.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
