it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
