u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Randomize
