just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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