People with herpes should wear stickers.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
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