apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
