i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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