do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
