What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
